Tool 16: The One Anothers: Investing in Relationships

In my (Ken’s) book Conformed to His Image, I list out the following exhortations (33 positive and 7 negative for a total of 40), with the following explanation:

In this world, we are part of a community of pilgrims who are traveling toward God, and we are meant to assist, nurture, and encourage one another along the way. Commitment to a local community of faith enhances personal growth by providing a corporate context for identity, involvement, and ministry. This commitment to mutual nurture and service is most clearly expressed in the New Testament reciprocal “one another” commands.[1]

The Exercise:

Read through this list and flag the commands that stick out to you. Which one (or two, or a few) do you need to work on in order to recalibrate your relationships? Consider posting those on your wall or bathroom mirror, or putting them into an alert/reminder on your phone. Whenever you see them, pray for God’s help in following through on His command.

Example: If you struggle with being critical of other people, especially in your speech, put Romans 14:19 (“Pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding”) and James 4:11 (“Do not speak against one another”) somewhere where you’ll see these two commands a few times a day—maybe in a place where you tend to find yourself making critical comments.

  • Wash one another’s feet (John 13:14).
  • Love one another (John 13:34).
  • Be devoted to one another in brotherly love (Romans 12:10a).
  • Give preference to one another in honor (Romans 12:10b).
  • Be of the same mind toward one another (Romans 12:16; 15:5).
  • Build up one another (Romans 14:19).
  • Accept one another (Romans 15:7).
  • Admonish one another (Romans 15:14).
  • Greet one another (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20).
  • Wait for one another (1 Corinthians 11:33).
  • Have the same care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25).
  • Through love serve one another (Galatians 5:13).
  • Bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).
  • Show tolerance for one another (Ephesians 4:2).
  • Be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32a).
  • Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32b).
  • Speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:19).
  • Be subject to one another (Ephesians 5:21).
  • Regard one another as more important than yourselves (Philippians 2:3).
  • Teach and admonish one another (Colossians 3:16).
  • Comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18).
  • Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11a; Hebrews 3:13).
  • Build up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11b).
  • Live in peace with one another (1 Thessalonians 5:13).
  • Seek after that which is good for one another (1 Thessalonians 5:15).
  • Stimulate one another to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24).
  • Confess your sins to one another (James 5:16a).
  • Pray for one another (James 5:16b).
  • Keep fervent in your love for one another (1 Peter 4:8).
  • Be hospitable to one another (1 Peter 4:9).
  • Use your gifts to serve one another (1 Peter 4:10).
  • Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5).

  • Do not judge one another (Romans 14:13).
  • Do not bite and devour one another (Galatians 5:15).
  • Do not become boastful, challenging one another (Galatians 5:26a).
  • Do not envy one another (Galatians 5:26b).
  • Do not lie to one another (Colossians 3:9).
  • Do not speak against one another (James 4:11).
  • Do not complain against one another (James 5:9).


[1] Kenneth Boa, Conformed to His Image: Biblical, Practical Approaches to Spiritual Formation, rev. ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Academic, 2020), 457–458.

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Times of transition, especially in midlife or later life, are ideal moments for recalibrating our priorities and habits. Gain practical tools and the eternal perspective needed to evaluate your God-given gifts, skills, wisdom, resources, and opportunities in order to life meaningfully now and for the rest of your earthly sojourn.

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